You are a partnership with an amazing story. Getting married is just the next step in an adventure you’ve been in for a while, a thing that’s a gift weaving in the lives of everyone around you. And now it’s time to get married.
And while the wedding is coming together, there’s one thing you just can’t seem to find and one thing you can’t do without:
It seems they only come in three sizes:
In each of these cases, your story is lost.
And the closer you get to your wedding date, the closer you get to settling for whomever you can find who will just say anything.
But what if you could ask anyone at all to officiate? And still get the story right? The story that honors your beliefs, your boundaries, your dreams, and your values? Where you’ve been and where you’re going?
Your wedding is a chance to tell your story to the people you love the most.
Your ceremony can be the heartbeat of your wedding.
Your ceremony should honor that one wild, precious beautiful life that you’ve been given.
Your wedding should be special, regardless of your religious background.
You don’t have to choose between “personal” and “meaningful”.
The best ceremony is the one that fully reflects you.
A month before my wedding, we were in a panic: we couldn’t find an officiant. We were in love and very happy, and wanted someone who could speak to the challenges we’d faced, tell our story in all its complexity. We wanted someone we trusted but also someone who could communicate clearly.
We were looking for a unicorn in this confusing, stressful wedding industry.
Our solution: I wrote the ceremony myself. I used traditional vows and untraditional story telling. My wedding party shared the task of presenting to the congregation and offering a “charge” to my new husband and me. I knew I wanted to be there for other couples like Robbie and me: people who valued the ongoing story and the richness of life and simply needed the words to make the ceremony powerful.
I decided that I wanted to support story-filled couples like you by becoming an officiant.
I like stories. I am a Story Teller. I get to the heart of the story beneath our experiences. I connect dots. I love people and I love helping people their stories in a million beautiful ways. I’m a writer and a consultant. I work with driven, motivated people trying to express their story in a truer way and build better businesses and make better things in the world from that story.
You can see my writing and creative work at www.danamray.com.
You can see my professional life as a consultant helping businesses and creative communicate the Big Story, the driving motivation for their work at www.danamrayconsulting.com.
In my personal life, I am wife and partner to Robbie Fraleigh, a dreamy data scientist meets dance instructor meets master-of-puns meets goof ball. I adore him. Our favorite thing to do together is sit down with a whiteboard and some markers and draw our dreams for the future—and then make a good Old Fashioned cocktail.
We met dancing in a salsa bar in 2010 and had a TIME getting to the marriage part of the story. A lot of ups and downs. A lot of hard work. People say we’re adorable together now but let me tell you: we worked for the ease and safety we have together. Partnership doesn’t start the day you get married; it starts the day you show up for the hard conversations.
Let your wedding be a wonder. Let it be one hell of a good time. Let it be what you can’t yet imagine and wouldn’t orchestrate even if you could. Remember why it is you’ve gone to so much trouble… You’re getting married! There’s a day ahead that’s a shimmering slice of your mysterious destiny. All you’ve got to do is show up.
Based on my limited time, I have to be selective about the weddings I choose to officiate—I also want to make sure that I am the right person for the wedding you want to create. So help me get to know you and we’ll find out if I’m the right fit!
Tell me your story! Who are you as individuals and as a partnership? What matters to you? What life are you building together? What are you creating in the world?