Your Story. Your Ceremony.

Your officiant matters

And it's too easy to lose the point of your wedding

You are a partnership with an amazing story. Getting married is just the next step in an adventure you’ve been in for a while, a thing that’s a gift weaving in the lives of everyone around you. And now it’s time to get married.

And while the wedding is coming together, there’s one thing you just can’t seem to find and one thing you can’t do without:

An officiant.

It seems they only come in three sizes:

  1. A 30 minute sermon on the meaning of marriage and well-intentioned advice
  2. A government official reading a terse script
  3. A well-intentioned friend who, while full of love and support, hasn’t written anything longer than an email since college five years ago.

In each of these cases, your story is lost.

And the closer you get to your wedding date, the closer you get to settling for whomever you can find.

But what if you could have the officiant who would get your story right? Someone who honors your beliefs, your boundaries, your dreams, and your values? Where you’ve been and where you’re going?

I Believe

Your wedding is a chance to tell your story to the people you love the most.

Your ceremony can be the heartbeat of your wedding.

Your ceremony should honor that one wild, precious beautiful life that you’ve been given.

Your wedding should be special, regardless of your religious background.

You don’t have to choose between “personal” and “meaningful”.

The best ceremony is the one that fully reflects you.

My Officiant Troubles

A month before my wedding, we were in a panic: we couldn’t find an officiant. We were in love and very happy, and wanted someone who could speak to the challenges we’d faced, tell our story in all its complexity. We wanted someone we trusted but also someone who could communicate clearly.

We were looking for a unicorn in this confusing, stressful wedding industry.

Our solution: I wrote the ceremony myself. I used traditional vows and untraditional story telling. My wedding party shared the task of presenting to the congregation and offering a “charge” to my new husband and me. I knew I wanted to be there for other couples like Robbie and me: people who valued the ongoing story and the richness of life and simply needed the words to make the ceremony powerful.

I decided that I wanted to support story-filled couples like you by becoming an officiant.

Lindsey Ford Photography

Officiant Services

Getting to Know You

An in person meeting to get to know your story and your goals for the ceremony. Or, if you are long distance, a video chat.

Ceremony Structure

Guidance on ceremony structure and vow content

Customized Ceremony Content

Original content not based on any template or pre-packaged sermon. Length is 5-15 minutes based on your wishes. Couple will be able to review and make changes before the wedding day.

Wedding Rehearsal

Attendance at wedding rehearsal.

Presiding Over Ceremony

Directing the ceremony as previously discussed and outlined in detail with the couple.

License Guidance

Your marriage will be legalized with a self-uniting license, a legally recognized procedure in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. It is a simple process that I will walk you through.

15% of fee is donated to UNICEF in support of their work against child marriages

Writer. Listener. Storyteller.

Lindsey Ford Photography

I like stories. I am a Story Teller. I get to the heart of the story beneath our experiences. I connect dots. I love people and I love helping people their stories in a million beautiful ways. I’m a writer and a consultant. I work with driven, motivated people trying to express their story in a truer way and build better businesses and make better things in the world from that story.

You can see my writing and creative work at www.danamray.com.

You can see my professional life as a consultant helping businesses and creative communicate the Big Story, the driving motivation for their work at www.whyfinding.com

In my personal life, I am wife and partner to Robbie Fraleigh, a dreamy data scientist meets dance instructor meets master of puns meets goof ball. I adore him. Our favorite thing to do together is sit down with a whiteboard and some markers and draw our dreams for the future—and then make a good Old Fashioned cocktail.

We met dancing in a salsa bar in 2010 and had a TIME getting to the marriage part of the story. A lot of ups and downs. A lot of hard work. People say we’re adorable together now but let me tell you: we worked for the ease and safety we have together. Partnership doesn’t start the day you get married; it starts the day you show up for the hard conversations.

Let your wedding be a wonder. Let it be one hell of a good time. Let it be what you can’t yet imagine and wouldn’t orchestrate even if you could. Remember why it is you’ve gone to so much trouble… You’re getting married! There’s a day ahead that’s a shimmering slice of your mysterious destiny. All you’ve got to do is show up.

Cheryl Strayed
All the details you'll want

Frequently Asked Questions

How would you describe the couples you officiate for?

Couples with a big heart and deep commitment to the badass partnership they’ve created. A dynamic story of giving to the world. Laugh easily and often, frequently at themselves. While not necessarily religious, they often have values that are deep rooted and alive for them. Many have spiritual backgrounds they wish to honor and include, while also being clear and unashamed about their current journey.

Where are you ordained?

I am not ordained and do not sign your wedding license. This is to save you trouble! The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania hasn’t made up it’s mind about officiants being ordained online. To avoid any legal quandary later on, I guide you through signing a self-unifying marriage license. This is a legally accepted process in our state and will be as simple as having a religious or government representative sign.

Do you lead religious ceremonies?

I will craft a ceremony based on your preferences. I have created religious ceremonies within in Christian traditions, including prayers, Scripture, and other related content.

Do you lead ceremonies without religious content?

Yes. The richness of your story and the depth of this moment in your life is the entire point of the day. And you decide what is included in that.

Do you provide premarital counseling?

I LOVE that you’re asking that question! Counseling/therapy was something I did years before my husband and I ever got engaged. It literally changed my life for the better! I do not offer counseling but am happy to offer recommendations of counselors and therapists in the area that I think do a great job. Note: I do think this is important enough that I will only officiate for couples who have completed or will attend pre-marital counseling by a licensed professional.

Do you officiate for LGBTQ couples?

YES.

My partner and I live together. Is that an issue?

Ha. No. This goes in the category of “none of my business.”

Would you share officiating roles with another person?

Happy to negotiate other people’s participation in officiating.

Are you complimentarian or egalitarian?

If you don’t know what this means, DO NOT WORRY because it is DEEP in those theological weeds. I just know someone out there wants to ask it so here’s my answer! I’m very, very egalitarian. If you’re looking for a spiritual ceremony that won’t mess with the cultural minefield that is Ephesians 5, look no further.

Heartbox Photography

Send me a note!

Based on my limited time, I have to be selective about the weddings I choose to officiate—I also want to make sure that I am the right person for the wedding you want to create. So help me get to know you and we’ll find out if I’m the right fit!

Tell me your story! Who are you as individuals and as a partnership? What matters to you? What life are you building together? What are you creating in the world?